Chapter 39: The Next Step
It hurt; it hurt so much worse than mount Hakurei even though his demon half had been burned away already. How could it still hurt when he was just a human? He couldn’t help but look at his shoulder. The wound had closed but unlike with pass wounds, it did not truly seem to heal.
It still pained him and when touched, pus would leak from it. It told him that infection had set in; this hadn’t happened since he was a child but there were none of the healing herb that his mother had used to heal before around. Beside even if he did heal it, it would not stop the pain that he found himself to be in.
It was as if the very air was trying to burn out his lungs from the inside. It felt just like holy power but he had been walking for miles in this and there was no one around.
He had failed her than too, he hadn’t been there when she had needed him. He had left her for Kikyo…why was he always making the wrong decisions? Why was he always hurting his loved one and not saving them like he should?
First his mother then Kikyo and now Kagome had fallen in with those that he loved and were killed because he had been too weak to save. He was down one arm but he could still fight, he would be made stronger than he had been in the past. He would save Kagome; he would kill his brother at last
He would end his brother’s line and take Kagome away to heal from the trauma that she had no doubt suffered under his brother’s care for the last few years. Looking at his shoulder, Inuyasha wondered if Kagome would come to see him as similar to Sesshomaru.
He had truly thought his brother had changed before all of this had begun but he knew now that that wasn’t the case.
Sesshomaru was a monster and he put down monsters.
oOo
It was slow but the touch of his little Moonflower seemed to almost be healing him of the damage that Kagome had rung onto his body. There was so much that he didn’t know yet but knew that he would learn over time. He would learn more about his children just as he would learn more about Kagome after he saved her from herself.
Because he refused to allow any harm to visit upon her, even if the harm came from herself. She was the one thing that matter most to him right beside their children.
Sitting up at last, he picked up Mizuki so as to calm her down more; he noticed how one of his arms were almost completely severed but it wasn’t so he knew that it would heal in time. It hurt to see her beautiful eyes red and puffy from crying; it must seem so confusing as well as scary for a child that was barely a year old. This all just whispered to him of how he had been a poor parent to his children, a poor lover to Kagome. He had to change to be what they needed.
He had changed before, it had made him stronger in the end and he would do it again. He would change, he would be better; he would be everything that Kagome needed him to be.
He would show her that he was sorry and that he truly did love her. He would do whatever she needed of him to become the person that she needed in the end, even if it meant his life.
It was when he moved to stand that he noticed it was gone. Bakusaiga was gone. He knew who had taken it without a second thought…Kagome.
He looked down at Mizuki, calm and clinging to him as if she would die if he let her go for even a moment. His child needed his love and care at that moment yet so did her mother. He was a father and that was the most important title that he had ever been given. So what was the course of action he should take? Go after Kagome, to save her with their daughter left here to cry as he did so or stay with his child and allow Kagome to die?
Sesshomaru knew that his children needed their mother as much as he needed her so there was only one answer to what he should do. Looking down at Mizuki, all he could see was the perfect blend of him and Kagome.
He needed to protect and nurture their children but he knew that he would never be able to do it alone just as he knew that he could never live without Kagome. If she died this day then he would follow. He would make arrangement for their children but then he would follow her. Neither hell nor heaven would keep him from her, he would follow her into every world her soul passed through.
He would forever be with her.
“I will be back, I promise my Moonflower.” He whispered to her before he kissed her forehead. She looked at him as if she knew what he was about to do and she made no complain though tears began to flow down her cheeks once more. Each tear was a dagger that hurt as much as every breath.
He just wished that all this pain would end and that they could begin to heal.
oOo
The Earth was just one step away. If she stood and took that one step then everything would just end…the thought was such a peaceful one to her.
The sky was nothing but gray clouds. It had been so bright and clear as she had just walked out, freedom from life was so close that she could almost touch it. But as she stared down at Sesshomaru’s sword, Bakusaiga…she wanted to hold her children once more. She wished that they would be able to remember her telling them that she loved them so much.
But they would remember nothing of her. She had brought them into the world and then she would disappear from it. It felt as if destiny gripped her limbs like the stings of a marionette, so light that she barely felt them yet every move made by them was overwhelming.
This was no longer her choice and in so many ways, it was a relief for her. She had struggled to do the right thing but now this struggle was gone, her actions were no longer hers but that of destiny’s.
She held the blade that would cleave the strings that allowed destiny to be her master. She would be free from pain, from life and then she would be allowed to walk the path of the afterlife unburdened by everything that she had lived through.
Kagome smiled even as tears came to her eyes for the last time.
The sky burst into tears as well as if it was sad to see her go onto the next one.
“KAGOME!” She glanced over her shoulder at the roar.
Sesshomaru looked more battered and broken than she could ever remember having seen him. She stood from the steps that she had been sitting upon. She felt sick at what she had done to him.
How had she done all that to him? Could she had been this cruel to him? Yes, he had been the demon that had rape her again and again to make the children that they had. His one arm looked as it was barely attached by muscle.
She should have been glad and laughing happily at the sight of what she had done to him yet she was just disgusted with herself. She looked away from Sesshomaru to look at his sword in her hand. This was the blessing that would give her the relief that she needed so badly.
Putting the blade to her throat, she gave Sesshomaru a watery smile. “Goodbye, Sesshomaru…I wish you a happy life with our children.”
She felt fire slice across her throat as she fall backwards.
“KAGOME!”
oOo
Fear slammed into his heart and crushed his soul when he saw her take Bakusaiga to her throat. He moved to her, hoping to stop her before she did the unthinkable to herself. He wanted her to live, he needed her to live.
But she slit her throat before his eyes.
“KAGOME!”
He ran. He ran as fast he was able, wanting her back in his arms. Her powers torturing him with endless agony for every step he took but still he ran.
Everything inside of him felt as if it was dying at the thought that she was already dead. He could not understand how she could throw her life away so easily. She was being cruel to him and their children for doing this but still he ran in hopes of reaching her, of saving her from herself.
Her scent clung to the air, tormenting him further. He reached the stair but there was nothing there so he leaped off the steps to follow her down to the earth, hoping that he would find her there. He knew that was likely impossible for her to be alive since yet his heart and soul screamed at him that she wasn ot dead.
His eyes watered, he needed her and so did their children. He would make things better, he would do whatever he needed to do to make everything between them all right. He would heal them and they would move pass this or he would die with her.
But he never saw her.
All the way down, he never saw Kagome and it was the same when he reached the ground. He found Bakusaiga but there was still nothing of Kagome…the only thing of her that he could find was her blood on the blade.
How he wanted to destroy his sword. It was representation of him as a weapon, a tool for death and slaughter; he had only ever wanted to use it to protect his loved ones. Yet it had killed the one that he cannot live without, it had killed the one he loved most in all the realms.
Taking the sword in hand, he stared at it with disgust.
The tears fell when the power in the air began to fade.
oOo
He hurt rather badly as if the natural immune to holy powers that he had been born with were suddenly gone. He stared at the healing slice across her neck; he didn’t know how she was healing or how she was alive when the wound would have killed other humans. It only spoke of what he already knew; that she was on level with gods.
It was frightening to hold such a being in his arms but looking at her as she was; it only make him wish to help her escape the pain that tormented her.
Walking into the throne room, Saburo could only hope that help for Kagome could be found here. Walking to the throne, pass the souls waiting to be given judgment. She almost felt light as a feather where she had felt so heavy before. It had to be her soul, her body was alive and healing but Hell had grabbed hold of her soul. It held the weight of her soul for him, and he saw it there upon the throne in his master’s hands.
It was so large…Saburo had never seen a soul so large before, how had Kagome’s body even been able to hold all of it?
It was so lovely though. It was so white yet it was like a pearl with a lovely iridescent quality; he had never seen anything like it in a human before this day. It was something that one might find in a god but it was of a more refined quality. It almost made him wonder if Kagome was human as they believed.
Saburo stared up at his lord and master, Enma who was surrounded by Kagome’s soul and held a small part in his hands. There was a look in Enma’s golden gaze that made Saburo hope to all the gods that one of his younger siblings hadn’t filled Enma’s bathing spring with piss again.
“Saburo bring her closer.”
He went to his master’s side, Kagome’s soul reacted instantly to her body; her soul jerked away as if it was being burned by fire. Enma let it go yet it moved away as if it was a monster that sought to devour it. Saburo and Enma looked at each other with confusion.
“I don’t understand.” He really didn’t…a soul always went back to its body so long as it was living. Kagome’s had run away as if it was in danger from its own living flesh.
“This is because of Sesshomaru…Put the body in your harem for now. I’ll force the soul to return when I am done with my duties for the day.”
To Be Continued