Chapter 20: Learn

Kagome didn’t know what to say or do, her flames only grew all the more violent. What was she meant to think of his declaration? What was she meant to say? There was no answer that she could give him. At least not one that he would be happy about.

She was lost with all this power and so tired. But being tired didn’t mean that she could keep hiding or trying to die. 

Living was terrifying to her, it had been so full of pain and sorrow. Kagome knew that she wasn’t quite sane like everyone else. Her sanity had been lost long ago; Sesshomaru had taken it the night she had gave birth for the second time. Her body kept living and pushing out new life, where her soul felt ready to give up.

She probably would have if she hadn’t felt them move inside her. Her babies telling her before they were even born that they wanted her. They hadn’t wanted anything from her; just her. They wanted just her, to love her and be happy with her. 

Tears ran as that thought filled her mind. Her flames were so violent and hot, they had turned a blinding white. 

Kagome saw Sesshomaru standing there before her, his eyes were shut tight. Blinded by her power. 

They were the only things to survive. 

Her powers raged out of control, fueled by the emotions that she didn’t even understand. She didn’t even understand why Sesshomaru wasn’t burning. She had burned him before with her flames, had kept him at bay with her power. She watched him, wanting the answers and secrets that tormented her. There was only one way to get what she wanted.

“I wouldn’t do that, my Lovely.”

Kagome turned to find a stranger at her back, one she was forced to look up at. 

He was so much taller than her with a smile that did not impress. It was like she had become a sweet treat that the stranger hoped to devour.

Where she was dressed in shades of blue, the stranger was dressed in sokutai of white and black. The silk was odd like it was from the night sky and the moon. It shimmered with pearlescent and whispered to her of power.

“I have nothing to say to you,” the stranger said in her voice. He raised his hand to touch her cheek.

Kagome stepped back before he could, the thought of his touch was an unpleasant one. She didn’t know him and wanted no part of him. Somehow, Kagome knew that if she allowed it, he would make some claim to her. “Who are you?”

“I’ll tell you if you come with me,” he replied.

“Come with you where?” She noticed how his eyes glowed with desire and lust. 

She had seen it many times before. She wanted no part of it, from him or from anyone.

“To my home, where you belong.”

“I belong where I decide,” she informed him. Kagome turned away, to reach out to Sesshomaru and was surprised by what she saw. 

Shocked, Kagome had no time to react when the stranger thrust Sesshomaru away from her. Her flames left her, encasing Sesshomaru in their brilliant white as he flew through the air. “Sesshomaru!”

His body disappeared over the horizon. 

Kagome found herself stunned by the sudden fear that she felt for Sesshomaru. Where had that fear been for Inuyasha?

Before she could take a step to follow, a hand wrapped around her throat. Pulling her backwards against her will until her back hit a firm chest, she knew who it was. 

“You don’t belong to him or those lesser demons, my Lovely.”

“Let go,” Kagome growled as she looked directly up at him. Her fierce gaze promised a bloody end for the Stranger that held her. “Let me go now!”

“No, I have waited countless years for you. I will not wait any longer, Kagome…you turned out perfect despite your mother’s failure.” 

She stared at him, muted by his words. Her mind raced with questions. What did the Stranger mean? “Do you realize how creepy you are, right now?”

His smile only softened as it grew even bigger; she found it deeply unsettling. 

“You just feel this way because you don’t know. Your mother failed to teach you as her mother did her and your grandfather failed to secure you for me. Humans are so useless, no matter how much divinity you put into their bloodline.”

Izayoi held Inuasha to her, happy and sad to have him with her again. It has been so long since she last held his tiny body in her arms. He had grown into a man that she had been proud of. 

She had expected him to appear as an adult instead of the child he now was. She and her Love knew it only showed how badly the world had  broken Inuyasha. 

It had  always been a cruel place that broke thousands of souls every day. But she never thought Inuyasha would be among their numbers. 

He had been strong since the first moment he drew breath.

“He’ll be alright,” Katsu said with more certainty than she felt.

She saw the love in his eyes as he watched their son sleep. The peace in Inuyasha’s tiny body just kept the tears flowing.

Izayoi knew that she had failed as a mother. She should have protected her son better. Yet, there he was broken within hell alongside her and his father. It was almost more than she could endure, and she had endured many trials throughout her life .

She had survived being shunned for loving a demon. She had stood against her father when he had tried to marry her off against her will. Had taken the beating without a word of complaint, and survived being impaled as she gave birth. She lived as long as she could with a broken heart to raise her son with all the love she had.

Katsu had been her prize for fighting to love. Inuyasha had been her reward for all the pain that love gave.

“He’s our strong little boy,” she whispered as she placed a kiss on his brow. 

“He takes after you,” Katsu muttered softly. 

She laughed at that, not seeing a bit of herself in their son. “Our son takes after his father and I couldn’t be happier for it…he kept me going when I would have passed on sooner to be with you.”

She looked up at Katsu and remembered their first meeting with happiness. Their love had been a tragedy, blooming with hope and joy. Only to be crushed by the hands of fate. Still, she would do it all over again to be with the one that she loved.

“Do you think I was a poor father to him? And to Sesshomaru?” Katsu suddenly questioned.

“No! You did all you could for them, Katsu.”

“But I was not there for them. I let Nori decide everything with Sesshomaru and I died when Inuyasha was born.” There was such pain in his voice like his skin was ablaze. “I left you alone in the world with only our newborn son. I should have fought hard to be with you all.”

“That’s not your fault. Death comes to everyone and no one can hide from it. We all have to accept it in the end.”

It hurt to see Katsu look so broken. She had never seen him like that and it made her feel guilty to be happy that he could share this side with her. “Besides, it’s my fault that Inuyasha knew so little about you. I missed you so much and it hurt to talk about you with him when I knew he would never have you.”

Inuyasha whimpered but didn’t otherwise wake up. He just kept sleeping as she held him out to Katsu to take. “Hold your son.”

Katsu looked shocked by her words and stared at her outstretched arms that held their child. She knew that Katsu had never held Sesshomaru; that he had been denied that gift by fear.

Where Nori had feared all harm for her child, Izayoi knew that a child needed both parents’ to thrive. “Take him. Hold your child and love him like I know you do.”

Sesshomaru stared at the blue sky above him, his thoughts and emotions a tangled web. He didn’t understand what had just happened at all; it felt as if she had rejected him.

He knew that wasn’t the case.

Kagome had pushed him away, cocooning him in her flames. She had also healed him.

His arm was growing back, that he was almost whole again because of her. He had felt it, thinking it was a phantom pain. Then he had seen the regeneration, felt the pain once before.

sesshomaru knew that Kagome was the cause. That didn’t tell him why? It didn’t help him with the other problems either.

There were threats all around; they weren’t aimed at him but rather his family. His children needed him to be strong and cunning if he was to save them. He would save them, he would be there to love them and understand them. He would be more than his parents had been for him.

He had hoped that Kagome would help him do it.

Instead there had been rejection; she had pushed him away. It just wasn’t a complete reject, only a partial. She wouldn’t have healed his arm if it was complete. Something he had said had caused it.

It gave him hope. Hope that convinced him that they could be more. Even if she could never return his love, he could be a part of her life. She was his mate, something that meant more than his life. Something as precious as their children yet were distinctly different.

His life and soul would be a small price to pay to protect hers.

He knew that yet he hadn’t done anything like that. Sesshomaru remembered the times that he had protected her before all of this had begun. He had saved her and gained her trust; only to burn it down by never truly listening to her.

He had failed her so many times. “How do I gain her trust?”

“The same way you gain the trust of any good woman,” a voice said aloud.

Sesshomaru glanced at the glance of the voice to see Enma sitting at his side. 

He sat there so comfortable on a rock, like it was his throne. He wasn’t dressed in the grand attire that he had before. Rather Enma was wearing the clothes of a common mortal man. Patch work and all.

Sesshomaru found that to be confusing. How had the King of Hell come to sit at Sesshomaru’s side, dressed as a common human? He hadn’t sensed Enma or smelled him on the wind either.

“Would you like to know how to gain her trust, Sesshomaru?”

There wasn’t much he could say to that question. “Enlighten me.”

Enma lied back on his rock, his eyes fixed upon Sesshomaru. There was calculation and threats within the depths of Enma’s eyes. “Learn about her.”

“That is useless,” Sesshomaru informed.

“Why do you say that? I have her trust and I learned a bit about her in the time I knew her.” 

He didn’t have Kagome’s trust and no one was at fault for that except himself. Still, to hear that another had her trust when he didn’t. It made him so enraged that Sesshomaru bared his fangs at Enma.

Enma looked less than impressed by Sesshomaru’s reaction. “Do you know why I removed your arm?”

“No, I assume that it has to do with me being a good dog.” Sesshomaru spat the last words like it was poison.

“No, I did it for a much better reason.” Suddenly Enma’s hand was wrapped around Sesshomaru’s throat. Enma bared his fangs in a feral smile that would have chilled blood. “It was punishment for all you put her through. Even now, she is scarred and struggling to heal.”

Enma’s hand tightened, choking the air from Sesshomaru’s throat. Sesshomaru did nothing to stop Enma, though. He laid there, feeling as Enma’s claws started to dig into his flesh. He said nothing and did nothing, take it all as the punishment that he deserved. His face a blank of the emotions that stormed within.

“Women feel so much and are so strong. The world beats at them and tries to cripple them again and again, forcing silly rules on them. They’re conditioned to believe this is the right way to live, and I hate it so.”

“I don’t want to cripple her.” It was the last thing that Sesshomaru wanted to do.

“But you did, just like my father did my mother and all his concubines. He broke them and made them into his tools.” 

Blood escaped as Enma’s claws dug in deeper. “I’m not your father.”

“No, you’re not. You have the chance to be someone better, Sesshomaru. You just have to prove that and be someone that Kagome can trust,” Enma said before he let him go.

Sesshomaru stood and stared at Enma. There weren’t a lot of choices given and there were going to be no easy answers. He could tell that Enma would make everything a challenge. “Teach me then.”

Chapter 19 Sesshomaru’s Mate Chapters Chapter 21