Chapter 8: Moving Forward

Sesshomaru followed her back to Inuyasha’s village, feeling as if everything was beginning again. It had been because of his brother that he had met her. It was his lack of power that had caused him to lose her. In the three years that she had been gone from their world, he had given in. 

He allowed others to decide things for him. His mother had controlled his lands as he wandered, looking for a power that had been inside him all the time. He had allowed her and Takashi to arrange his mating with Sakura.

That had been a disaster and everything that had followed after it.

If he had been stronger than everything would have turned out for the better. He should have waited for her instead of allowing his mother to convince him to mate. He should have realized his feelings long ago. But he had not, he had simply thought it was lust.

He had never truly talked to her before she had become his. He had never thought that it was important because he thought he just lusted after her. He had been disgusted that he had lusted after her, a human.

He knew that a priestess could conceive a pure demon, all demons of the mortal realm did. It had never crossed that she would be strong enough to be able to; she had travelled with his brother. That alone made her weak in his mind until she showed him that he was wrong.

She showed him that he was a fool.

The people whispered about him as he walked through their village. He could not stop himself from comparing them to Kagome…they were all so lacking. The women could not hold a paper lantern to Kagome’s beauty. The men were nothing but mere animals to her intelligence. All smell of feces, urine and old sweat; it all made him long for Kagome.

His mind took him to the moment that caught her scent in his grave. It had been clean and heavenly, something that had never expected from a human. It should have told him the truth.

The old priestess suddenly stood before him, stopping him there in the middle of the road. Her old eyes were filled with wary concern, which did not surprise him.

The villagers fell silent as she questioned him.“Lord Sesshomaru, it has been some time since you last visited us. Are Kagome and her children well?”

“Kagome and our children are in hell,” he informed gently.

The village erupted into shouts and concerned talk at his words. It only served to show him that Kagome had truly been an important person to the people of this village. She had been important to them even after five years. How many of these people had she known by name? Had she once helped them when they had been sick or had she saved them from demons?

He had not known how much he had truly taken from her.

“Please! Please! Everyone calm down!” The old priestess begged of the villagers before she turned to look at him. “I beg you, lord Sesshomaru…tell me what happened?”

“I will when we reach the monk and the slayer.”

The priestess said nothing more and both she as well as Rin guided him to the couple’s home. It wasn’t long before they stood before the monk and slayer’s home. The sight before him pained him deeply though.

Twin girls were playing with what could only be their brother in front of them home. The boy looked to be the same age as Mizuki if not a little older; it pained him so.

Seeing the boy tottering about between his older sisters was like watching Mizuki do the same with him. It made him ache to hold his oldest daughter or to hold any of his children.

But they were out of his reach because he had been weak. He had let his children down when he should have been stronger for them.

Tears came to his golden gaze at the thought of his children crying out for him. Crying out for him to hold them and love them in another realm that was inaccessible to him. He was their father, his heart was filled with love for them. But that love threatened to devour him with pain for failing to be a father to his children.

“Lord Sesshomaru?” Rin whispered to him. He ignored her as the pain filled him to his core.

It was too much and he knew that his eyes were slowly turning red from the pain that threatened him. The pain was not unlike when Rin had died in hell; it crippled him to the point that he could not stand. It was then that a tiny hand grabbed his sleeve.

He jerked his head up to see the little boy was looking at him with sad eyes.

Everyone around him and the child froze as if they were afraid to move. They were such fools to believe that he would bring any harm to the little boy.

It would be easier to live without his other arm than to live with the little boy’s death at his hands.

As if the child knew his thoughts and found them to be upsetting, the child started to cry. Without another thought, he picked up the little boy gently like he would his own children. Everyone but Rin stared at him in horror; he paid them no mind.

He was focused on the task of soothing the little boy, who slapped at the tears on Sesshomaru’s cheeks. The action reminded him so of Mizuki when she was upset that he was upset. It made him wonder if this was a universal action for infants that was meant to comfort others.

Rocking the child, he did the one thing that he only ever did for his own children. He began to sing Kagome’s song for Mizuki to help her sleep.

Rising, rising is the moon.

Large & round, large & round, and round, and round.

One plate-like full moon will rise soon.

Hiding, hiding is the moon.

Behind the clouds, dark clouds, black clouds, stormy clouds.

The plate-like full moon will hide soon.

Appearing, reappearing is the moon.

Large & round, large & round, and round, and round.

One plate-like full moon will rise soon.

The tears stopped rolling down the little boy’s pink cheeks during the song and so did Sesshomaru’s.

OoOo

Kagome was so quiet as she sat with his sister-by-mating that it was unnerving to him. He wanted desperately to make her smile, blink, frown…something that was not her staring into nothingness. But his sister-by-mating bared their fangs at him if he tried.

They whispered to Kagome now and then, which would make her nod or shake her head in answer. It was at least clear to him that she was comfortable with them. “Stop worrying, papa bear.”

Saburo looked at his older brothers who sat beside each other as they watched him.

They couldn’t understand if they tried. His mind was filled with thoughts of the hostile woman that she had been and the woman that she was becoming. They had never seen her so utterly broken as he had when he had carried her damaged body to Enma. It was something that he wanted to avoid if possible.

Despite the fact that he knew that was an impossible thing to hope for. The pain was a part of life and one had to endure it to grow.

Kagome had just been given too much to be able to cope and endure it as she once had. It did not make her something to be pitied but rather admired. She was working towards overcoming the pain that had been inflicted on her.

It only made him sad that it would be a neverending process for her as it was for others.

“Its hard to stop worrying.”

“I know…but its clear that she’s stronger than she had been,” the oldest twin, Aiko said softly.

Saburo looked at his older brothers to see the matching looks of concern. Aiko and Akito were wise beyond their years; always having an answer for him when he had needed their guidance.

“What would you two do for her then?”

Akito was the one to answer him. “We’re different people from you, little brother…besides she’s the one that needs to take the steps needed, not us.”

“That’s not really an answer.”

“We only have one side of the story,” Aiko muttered suddenly.

Saburo glared at his brother for those words. To his ears, it almost sounded as if his older brother was going to side with Sesshomaru. “So we blame the victim?”

“Never,” the twins voiced in unison. The look of rage in their eyes telling him of their feelings about his words.

“Good, it almost started to sound as if you were taking Sesshomaru’s side in all of this.”

“We’ll learn his side when we go to war with him.”

The world fell quiet at that for Saburo. His brothers could not mean to fight at the side of Sesshomaru. It was too sickening for him to take their words seriously. “You’re joking.”

But the look in his brothers’ eyes told him that they were dead serious on the matter. It served to have his blood boil with rage; they were no better than their mother. Their words only served to be kindling for the rage that boiled him inside out.

“YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!” He snarled at them in outrage. “YOU’LL SIDE WITH THAT MONSTER LIKE OUR MOTHER?!?!?!”

“It is for the best, little brother,” Akito said calmly.

“Mother is tormented by things that happened before we were even conceived…it influenced her actions and created conflicts. But our mother is still a good person at the end of the day,” Aiko said softly as if to comfort.

But it only served to make him angrier. They turned blind eyes to a problem just as their mother had; it was an insult that burned him. So he said the only thing that could make blind eyes see the light. “I gave a vow of life to her and her children.”

He turned away from his brother to watch Kagome again with his sisters-by-mating. His brothers’ eyes burrowed into the flesh of his back, demanding that he explain. But he refused to do as they wished.

“Lord Enma-”

“Knows and thinks it will be good for her to have a protector,” Saburo cut in sharply.

He was not their kid brother any longer and knew his own damned mind. He had told his lord and ruler soon after he had made the vow, expecting to be punished for it. But as always, Enma did the unexpected.

Enma had called it a good move at the time, not upset in any way that he had made the vow to another. It only served to show all that Enma was the right ruler for their people and realm.

The silence stretches on and on as if time had forgotten the sound of life, and preferred the silence.

OoOo

“What are they talking about?” Kagome asked as the two demonesses glared at the men that stood off in the distance. The two beauties turn to look at her before they wrapped their arms around her in a comforting embrace.

It was unexpected and somehow exactly what she needed at that moment. It reminded her of her own mother’s warm arms banishing the sad emotions that had filled her.

“You are strong, Kagome…so strong that no one could ever truly break you.”

Chapter 7  Sesshomaru’s Mate Chapters