Chapter 21: Detached
He held her to him like a drowning man held a lifeline, desperate and demanding. His hold on her throat was soft and gentle; it didn’t fool her. The wrong move from her, and he would have no problem choking her to keep her. Her feelings and desires didn’t matter to him
His eyes whispered his craze obsession to have her.
They were the same colour as hers. A deep blue that felt more threatening to her than Sesshomaru’s golden gaze ever had. The instinct to get him to let her go and run was overwhelming as well as sudden. This stranger, this man was like the cat about to devour a cornered mouse.
There was no question that she was the mouse.
“Let me go,” she ordered again when the hand that held her body to his began to move.
“No,” the Stranger whispered. “I’ll tell you that word as many times as I need to. I finally have you, why would I let go?”
“Then what are you going to do? Hold me forever?”
He didn’t answer her, just stared into her eyes like he expected something to be there. “Not forever, there are things that we’ll want to do to each other after you get to know me.”
The desire to burn him to ashes grew when his hand touched her butt. He stroking her through the shield of her clothes as if he owned her.
“You’re just a creepy jerk, I want nothing to do with you,” Kagome hissed at him. She clawed at the hand touching her, digging her nails in to discourage him.
He didn’t seem to feel it at all.
“You just feel this way because you don’t know, Kagome.” There was such indulgence in his voice like he thought she was a spoiled little girl.
It was that indulgence that made her look at him. Truly look at him because there was something wrong in his voice. It was a husky, rugged voice that would have had a woman interested from the sound alone. Only, it was distorted, unpleasant to listen to the longer she heard it. His touch was the same, assaulting her senses with discomfort and corruption. Staining her outside in like dye on a silk kimono. Brushstrokes adding colours that she wanted no part in.
His face was a little plain but otherwise handsome. It didn’t hold the beauty of Sesshomaru’s or the rough edge of Inuyasha. There was no sophisticated intelligence within his gaze, only obsession that demanded everything from her. His smile had been there since the start, his teeth were white and perfect.
Everything screamed at her that everything about him was wrong. She felt as if she was blinded to the truth of what he looked like. That he was hidden by an illusion. “Who are you?”
His smile only seemed to become twisted at her question. “Most would call me a god but you will call me Beloved or Amatsu as my parents once did.”
She stared at him, surprised by what he was and yet, wasn’t at the same time. He wouldn’t be the first god that she had met.
he was just the first god that felt like poison.
Her fingers felt numb as her mind raced with questions and concerns. They circled his name as she asked him the obvious, “You’re a god?”
“One of the most powerful!” There was such pride in his voice. “You already know who I am and what I’ll be to you.”
Her heart began to race. Pounding against her chest like the beating of the earth beneath a horse’s hooves. She stared at him as she remembered who he was. She was fearful that the God of Chaos, evil and stars holding her.
Her blood turned to ice in her veins as he moved ever closer to her. She could already see his intent, a few tears ran down her cheeks. She was trapped once more, just as she had been with Sesshomaru.
Only, she knew this was far worse.
“Please,” she begged.
“There’s no stopping this, my Love. I have wanted you since you were growing inside your mother’s womb.”
“Why me?” She didn’t know why she was asking. It felt like a burning need to know why her life was the one to go so wrong. Because some part of her knew that Amatsu had played a role in all of it.
He was the god of Chaos after all.
The smile faded just a bit as if her questions were a sour taste to him. “Gods are made in many ways. Human belief, the power of nature, born from the divine…are just a few of the many ways that gods come into being. Others connect to something beyond the sources of life.”
“That’s not answering my question.” Kagome felt disgusted with herself as the urge to see the deep blue turn into expressive gold filled her.
Sesshomaru couldn’t help her with Amatsu, not when Amatsu threw him away like a child threw a toy. She only had herself to handle this. “My mother’s family would secure me for you, didn’t they? Why?”
“Children are meant to obey their parents,” he informed.
“Children are meant to be loved and guided by their parents to grow strong.”
His smile returned with an indulgent edge to it like her words had amused him. “Children that don’t obey are discard, Kagome…your mother knows that well.”
“She left for love.”
“A love that died after a few short years,” he hissed with disgust in his voice and a sudden rage in his eyes. They sparked to red for a moment before fading back to blue. “It was what she deserved for disobeying, you would have joined your father if I hadn’t noticed.”
Her heart ached at what he implied, her throat tightening as the tears returned. She intended to shout but it came out as a whisper. “What did you do?”
“I think you mean, what will I do?”
She stared at him for a moment as she processed what he said and what he truly meant. The cold faded from her fingers as her palms burned. The tightness was released as a scream filled the air; it was a blighting sound that no human could make.
Kagome already knew that she wasn’t one anymore.
Her scream filled the air, turning it into a poison with her emotions. The flames that shielded her were gone; some part of her knew that.
They were protecting the father of her children, leaving Kagome to defend herself.
The layers of the junihitoe she wore became a victim to her poison. The toxic sound that she released slowly ate away the beautiful silk. It melted from her skin like the melted bone that once covered her.
Amatsu’s hand on her throat tightened, threatening her without words. She could feel it burning from her touch, smiled because of it as she kept screaming that inhuman scream.
“This won’t stop me, Kagome. Your powers are chaotic just like mine.” The burning flesh dropped in chucks, exposing muscle and bone to the air. To her poisonous screaming. “You are meant to be mine.”
She had had enough.
God or not, she refused to just become his. She had done that with Sesshomaru for another’s life and then for her children’s. She had been controlled and used, lost pieces of who she was and wanted nothing more than peace in death’s embrace.
She couldn’t keep burning with her rage and her other feelings. She needed to be cold like when Inuyasha had died. Thought of him made it so easy.
His trembling body against her, his labored breath fading as she held him. She had cut off the part that screamed to save him as she played the role he needed from her. “I belong to no one.”
“You belong-”
Her hand flew to his mouth cut off his words. Her screaming was done as she only forced out the poison that filled her. Kagome cocooned him and herself in it. She watched as pain flamed in his eyes for the first time. She felt a sick enjoyment at the sight of it, wanting him to suffer even more.
Chunks of flesh started to fall from his face as his body followed.
She knew that he wouldn’t live for much longer and, yet his eyes continued to watch her. “This is a drop of my pain, feel it and run away or die.”
She took her hand away from his mouth as his hold fell limp from her. She stepped away, confidence filled her as bone crunched under her feet.
“I’ll do neither,” he said with none of the pain painted in his eyes. His arms had seperated from his shoulders, leaving him with stumps. They were been beneath her feet. His legs couldn’t support him anymore, causing him to fall in the sludge her poison made.
She stared at him with indifference, feeling detached from everything but her pleasure. “Then maybe I’ll go and die instead.”
“You’re a true immortal…Death won’t come for you anymore.”
Kagome turned away, walking off as she rolled that little tidbit in her mind. There had to be other ways to get the peace she wanted.
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